real_archer | IC Inbox

So speaking of romcoms, I had a thought.

Oh, this is going to be good... Okay, what's your thought?

This is gonna sound crazy, but hear me out: I think we should go on a date.

A date?

[Excuse her for a moment while she cracks up.

... Wait, he's not serious, is he?]

... Why?

"Why?" Jeez, Artemis, you're breaking my heart here.

[ He doesn't sound even remotely heartbroken. ]

[She scoffs.]

Yeah, I'm sure. Again, why exactly should we go on a date?

Okay, here's the deal. Wally's too stubborn to admit that he misses us being a team. Specifically, misses you. Okay, fine. His loss.

So we go on a hot, hot date. Maybe even hold hands. The sky's the limit here, Artemis, I'm telling you. Anyway, Wally gets news of all this hand holding, he gets totally jealous of our budding romance, but then he realizes something. "Dude, my best bro has flawless taste in people (i.e. me). It logically follows that Artemis must also be flawless, as I had always suspected but was too much of a grumpy gus to admit." Cue, uh... something.

I'm a little fuzzy on the details after that, but I think we can wing it. Ending spoilers: everyone's friends again, hand holding optional.

[Where to even begin... Artemis opens her mouth to speak, then closes it. She tries again with the same result before she finally comes up with something.]

Robin... I don't think...

[This is Robin, and she usually trusts Robin's plans, no matter how crazy. This is some next level crazy, though.]

... There is no way that's going to work, you know that, right?

[ Can't we pretend it's that easy, though? ]

. . . Yeah. Probably not.

But... I'll still come with you. Not because of Wally, and definitely not for the hand holding. Just... it would be cool to hang out, I guess.

Really? You wanna?

Well, yeah. I mean, we're friends, right?

[Right? Oh please say that's still right.]

You kidding? Of course we are.

Even if you aren't a fan of my totally Shakespearean plotting.

Okay, no. Your plan is way more Ten Things I Hate About You than it is Taming of the Shrew.

Look, you can't fault a guy for trying.

[ His voice is light, but he sounds genuine. He just wants things to be okay. ]

Yeah? Just watch me.

[But she is totally kidding.]

So, what are we doing for our "date"?

You wanna scope out the beach up at Cape Canaveral? Maybe check out the tacky tourist shops by the boardwalk?

[Long walks on the beach? What kind of movies has he been watching, lately?]

Okay, sure. Buy me a snow cone and I'll even hold your hand.

Ha! You're on.

Sooo, when are you free?

Well, I don't know... I mean, my social calendar is pretty full...

[Lies, all lies. Though she did sneakily sneak off and do motorcycle things with Annie in Nonah. It's just a little bit leaving town, so it doesn't count.]

There's gotta be one slot free on your dance card.

I can probably fit you in between now and whenever.

Might have to make it whenever-thirty...

Oh, so now you play hard to get.

You like it.