[Artemis cries out, clutching her own head as everything she's felt since hearing about her apparent fate is doubled. Hurt, shock, betrayal, fear, loneliness, and anxiety are all mirrored back at her, strengthened by M'gann's own reactions. She can grit her teeth and power through physical injuries without making a sound, but emotions are harder and they're well past the bravado that functions as Artemis's sole psychic defense. She's not used to this kind of thing and it's overwhelming.
Then it's gone, leaving only the constant dull ache of her own feelings.
She doesn't respond right away to M'gann's apology, still trying to sort things out. When she does, her voice is raspy.]
[ Because she's almost done, almost finished searing the memory for safe keeping. But her hands shake as she brings them down, closing her eyes once more and with a single breath, they're out. Artemis will feel release from the surrounding false-heat of telepathy, will feel the fabric beneath her legs and the breeze from the window in her hair, against her skin. ]
I-I'm sorry, Artemis, I didn't .. I wasn't expecting it.
[Artemis feels something wet on her cheek and touches her face. There are tears there, even though she's not crying now. She wipes them away. Her heart is still fluttering anxiously in her chest, but the sensation of the bed beneath her and the warm air from the window is helping to bring her back to herself.]
[ It's ... strange, seeing Artemis cry. Not because she hasn't seen it before- she has. But because it was her fault. At least, a part of it was. So she doesn't comment, doesn't try to help soothe the ache, however dulled it is now.
She doesn't, however, move away from her knee-to-knee position next to her. ]
... Just because it's something they think they know, doesn't mean it's true, you know. Maybe their memories were fabricated, too. There has to be more to it than that. He wouldn't do something like that, Artemis.
Yeah. [She breathes heavily.] Yeah, that's what Robin says. Wally... Wally just says he's gonna stop it somehow. [Her expression turns wry.] Pretty sure Conner knows, too. He took me out to punch stuff.
[She flexes her fingers.]
I don't know. I wish I could trust-- [Too much. Trust is a scary topic, too fragile. More fragile than she thinks her teammates realize. Better rein it in, play it safe.] People change.
[The people closest to you are the ones who will hurt you the most. She was an idiot to think the team was an exception to that rule.]
I just wish he was here. To defend himself. Or to tell me WHY.
[Her voice raises and cracks on the last note, slightly hysterical. She's done well with keeping the fear at bay lately, but what just happened with M'gann was too immediate, too raw.]
I mean, what did I do?! What did I do to deserve that?
[ It's as painful to watch as she imagines Artemis might feel. Or maybe that's just the empathy she feels, emanating off the girl in telepathic waves. She's so scared, so hurt and upset and it breaks M'gann's heart to see it. To hear it in her voice, to feel it. She wishes she could fix it.
But ... Maybe she can. ]
I ... might be able to find out.
[ And her sorrowed look is gone. Because this is important; beyond important. She could look into Bart's mind (maybe even Garfield's, though the idea of asking first is much stronger there, but no one needs to know that). She could look into his memories, see what the future holds, see what happens. Maybe she can find out why it did, find a way to stop it before it ever happens. ]
[As much as Artemis wants answers, she's still dubious. M'gann is her friend--one of her best friends, if she's being honest--but the power that M'gann has at her fingertips... it's scary.]
[ Scary would be a good word for it. But only when she's putting it to the wrong use. Protecting a friend seems like a very good use, if you ask her. ]
I mean I can find out- even if just to know what happened. Maybe I can see something they didn't. Bart- I mean. People from 2016.
[ She won't mention Garfield, though he was clearly on the table. ]
Like... go into their brain? See what actually happened?
[Even more dubious now. It was hard enough letting M'gann in to do her telepathic jazz for a good cause. Artemis has enough empathy in her to realize that might be completely disastrous for someone who isn't volunteering.
... But she wants to know. What will Kaldur do? What will she do? Maybe there's some kind of explanation... There has to be. So far, Artemis has considered that Kaldur is being controlled, like Roy was. Anything else... well, it hurts too much to consider but at the same time it's all she can think about.]
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Then it's gone, leaving only the constant dull ache of her own feelings.
She doesn't respond right away to M'gann's apology, still trying to sort things out. When she does, her voice is raspy.]
Are we done? Can we get out of my head?
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[ Because she's almost done, almost finished searing the memory for safe keeping. But her hands shake as she brings them down, closing her eyes once more and with a single breath, they're out. Artemis will feel release from the surrounding false-heat of telepathy, will feel the fabric beneath her legs and the breeze from the window in her hair, against her skin. ]
I-I'm sorry, Artemis, I didn't .. I wasn't expecting it.
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Yeah... I don't think anybody was.
[She can't meet M'gann's eye.]
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She doesn't, however, move away from her knee-to-knee position next to her. ]
... Just because it's something they think they know, doesn't mean it's true, you know. Maybe their memories were fabricated, too. There has to be more to it than that. He wouldn't do something like that, Artemis.
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[She flexes her fingers.]
I don't know. I wish I could trust-- [Too much. Trust is a scary topic, too fragile. More fragile than she thinks her teammates realize. Better rein it in, play it safe.] People change.
[The people closest to you are the ones who will hurt you the most. She was an idiot to think the team was an exception to that rule.]
I just wish he was here. To defend himself. Or to tell me WHY.
[Her voice raises and cracks on the last note, slightly hysterical. She's done well with keeping the fear at bay lately, but what just happened with M'gann was too immediate, too raw.]
I mean, what did I do?! What did I do to deserve that?
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But ... Maybe she can. ]
I ... might be able to find out.
[ And her sorrowed look is gone. Because this is important; beyond important. She could look into Bart's mind (maybe even Garfield's, though the idea of asking first is much stronger there, but no one needs to know that). She could look into his memories, see what the future holds, see what happens. Maybe she can find out why it did, find a way to stop it before it ever happens. ]
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... What do you mean?
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I mean I can find out- even if just to know what happened. Maybe I can see something they didn't. Bart- I mean. People from 2016.
[ She won't mention Garfield, though he was clearly on the table. ]
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[Even more dubious now. It was hard enough letting M'gann in to do her telepathic jazz for a good cause. Artemis has enough empathy in her to realize that might be completely disastrous for someone who isn't volunteering.
... But she wants to know. What will Kaldur do? What will she do? Maybe there's some kind of explanation... There has to be. So far, Artemis has considered that Kaldur is being controlled, like Roy was. Anything else... well, it hurts too much to consider but at the same time it's all she can think about.]
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Kind of what we did here. Reading someone's mind is a lot easier, even.
[ It's like hearing someone speak. And, you know. Digging around for past memories; even recent ones. ]
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[This was... kind of terrible, even though she knows M'gann was doing her best.]
... Okay. If you think it will help.
[She's just going to go ahead and assume M'gann would be asking permission, then. It's M'gann, after all. It'll be fine.]
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[She fidgets with the ends of her ponytail, tugging it in a self-soothing gesture.]
Who knows, maybe I'm the one who goes evil and he's just...
[That was supposed to be a kind of dark joke, but she can't even finish it.]