really, robin? because that's what you said about the mole.
[She feels terrible the instant she hits send. That wasn't Roy's fault, and even if it was, Robin doesn't deserve to have his words thrown back in his face like that. Artemis had believed it too.]
the mole was real. but it wasn't like we thought--it's not his fault
[She's come this far, she can't leave it there. And maybe there's a sick sort of symmetry here--Robin tells her she's murdered by their friend, she tells him that his friend isn't who he appears to be.]
[ Robin stares at his comm, feeling so many things all at once that it fades into a kind of intense numbness. He's betrayed, angry, hurt, and he doesn't know who to blame. Cadmus, obviously, but — he can't help the little spark of bitterness that flares up that he had to find out like this. ]
If you were waiting for the right time to break that piece of news, that wasn't it.
Why is it so easy for you to believe that one of your friends would turn on you? How can you trust the word of some kid you've talked to twice, but you can't trust US?
have you actually met cheshire? sportsmaster? what about red arrow?
I don't trust anyone.
[It's a low blow, also not even slightly true. She didn't just live through the last few months, through standing up in front of a group of people she cares about and revealing all the secrets she thought kept her safe, to now turn to Robin and say she doesn't trust anyone.
But it's easier than admitting that the story of her death feeds into some of her deepest fears.]
[ Just because it isn't true doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Especially now, when all Robin has is his trust in his friends to keep everything from falling apart — to keep him from being culpable in all of it. Kaldur's betrayal, Artemis's death, Wally's absence, his successor murdered, now Roy— god, will there be anyone left by the end of this? Or is that his future, being the last man standing while all his friends crash and burn around him? (Do they actually trust him? Does he deserve their trust?)
Kaldur wouldn't, he tells himself again, but the words ring hollow. It's been too long. It's just too much.
If Artemis is aiming to hurt, then she hit her target. And like a wounded animal, he snarls. ]
Maybe I do have bad judgment. Because I thought this team actually meant something to you.
[ Robin writes and rewrites for long minutes, too angry and too hurt to trust his own words. How? How can he possibly keep this impersonal when she's trying to drag him into a fight? But he can't— he needs to— he's her leader, not just her friend. This is about more than just the two of them. ]
I know you're processing this. I know it's not easy to hear. I know you're probably scared. And if you need someone to talk to, every single one of us would drop everything we're doing to be there for you. We care about you.
But I need to be absolutely clear on this point. When Wally didn't trust you, when those issues were putting the team at risk, I let him know in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable. I'm doing the same for you now. I don't care what Bart thinks happened. Kaldur is not a murderer. Kaldur would not kill you. If you can't trust me that far — if you can't trust Kaldur that far — then we're going to have problems.
I put my life in your hands all those months ago because I knew you'd make that shot. I'm asking you to do the same for all of us now.
[Artemis recoils from her comm as if Robin had somehow reached through and slapped her in the face. How dare he... how dare he question her on this? She has a right to protect herself!
(She sees Kaldur's face in her mind, calm and serious as ever, maybe just the barest hint of amusement, exasperation, fondness.)
This isn't the same as trusting someone with your secrets or trusting them to have your back in a fight, this is her life. Not in the hypothetical sense either because until very recently, Artemis would have had no problem saying "I trust you with my life" to anyone on the team. The only problem would have been how sappy it sounds.
(She remembers running towards him in the heat of battle, his hands launching her into the air and the only thing she's thinking about is how hard she's going to kick Poison Ivy in the face on the way down.)
She tries to imagine how it would happen. A knife in the belly, hands around her throat... maybe he'll just drown her.
(She remembers practicing that move for hours, laughing at their mistakes, pushing themselves harder, Kaldur keeping her calm when she wants to give up because no way are they ever going to get it right.)
Artemis never thought she was afraid of dying until suddenly it had a name and a time: Kaldur, 2016.
(Kaldur smiles like he's proud of her. They've done good work today, he says.)
This would be easier if Kaldur were here. Everything's easier with Kaldur there to keep them in line.]
ok
[That's it. She doesn't trust herself to say more--she's still too angry, even if Robin is right.]
[ That's fine. He's in no mood for more. And maybe he owes her an apology, or some kind of tenderness; maybe he should tell her that he's scared for her, that part of the reason he can't let himself believe it's true is because he's too afraid of losing her to even entertain the possibility.
But he can't. Not now. Not yet. ]
If you're angry with me, fine. I'm sure I deserve it. But don't use my friend as a weapon.
I want to hear about Roy later.
Robin out.
[ Is it petty to want the last word when Artemis is still reeling with news of her maybe-death? Probably. Is turning off his comm before he goes out to patrol (read: blow off steam with some light violence) immature? Definitely. Is he upset and fourteen and making stupid, emotional decisions? Yes he is. ]
[Speaking of light violence, this time Artemis really does throw her comm. It crashes into a stockpile of arrows, scattering them on the floor.
The arrows are fine. The comm's screen is cracked, but it's otherwise unharmed.
After a minute, she gathers up the arrows, shoves them in her quiver, and heads out. Cracking a screen is all very good, but right now she wants to crack skulls. Thinking about why she's so angry is too confusing and painful and ultimately "why" won't matter to whatever low life criminal scum she manages to catch in the act tonight.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text
text
really, robin? because that's what you said about the mole.[She feels terrible the instant she hits send. That wasn't Roy's fault, and even if it was, Robin doesn't deserve to have his words thrown back in his face like that. Artemis had believed it too.]
text
What?
text
the mole was real. but it wasn't like we thought--it's not his fault[She's come this far, she can't leave it there. And maybe there's a sick sort of symmetry here--Robin tells her she's murdered by their friend, she tells him that his friend isn't who he appears to be.]
red arrow is a sleeper agent.text
text
he's a cadmus clone.[No sugar-coating it.]
text
If you were waiting for the right time to break that piece of news, that wasn't it.
text
yeah, well i've had a lot on my mind. sorry if i'm not feeling like my usual kind and sensitive self.
and for the record? -never- would have been the right time to tell me i get murdered by one of my friends.
text
text
have you actually met cheshire? sportsmaster? what about red arrow?
I don't trust anyone.
[It's a low blow, also not even slightly true. She didn't just live through the last few months, through standing up in front of a group of people she cares about and revealing all the secrets she thought kept her safe, to now turn to Robin and say she doesn't trust anyone.
But it's easier than admitting that the story of her death feeds into some of her deepest fears.]
text
Kaldur wouldn't, he tells himself again, but the words ring hollow. It's been too long. It's just too much.
If Artemis is aiming to hurt, then she hit her target. And like a wounded animal, he snarls. ]
Maybe I do have bad judgment. Because I thought this team actually meant something to you.
text
don't even, robin. you know I'd do anything for the team.text
I know you're processing this. I know it's not easy to hear. I know you're probably scared. And if you need someone to talk to, every single one of us would drop everything we're doing to be there for you. We care about you.
But I need to be absolutely clear on this point. When Wally didn't trust you, when those issues were putting the team at risk, I let him know in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable. I'm doing the same for you now. I don't care what Bart thinks happened. Kaldur is not a murderer. Kaldur would not kill you. If you can't trust me that far — if you can't trust Kaldur that far — then we're going to have problems.
I put my life in your hands all those months ago because I knew you'd make that shot. I'm asking you to do the same for all of us now.
text
(She sees Kaldur's face in her mind, calm and serious as ever, maybe just the barest hint of amusement, exasperation, fondness.)
This isn't the same as trusting someone with your secrets or trusting them to have your back in a fight, this is her life. Not in the hypothetical sense either because until very recently, Artemis would have had no problem saying "I trust you with my life" to anyone on the team. The only problem would have been how sappy it sounds.
(She remembers running towards him in the heat of battle, his hands launching her into the air and the only thing she's thinking about is how hard she's going to kick Poison Ivy in the face on the way down.)
She tries to imagine how it would happen. A knife in the belly, hands around her throat... maybe he'll just drown her.
(She remembers practicing that move for hours, laughing at their mistakes, pushing themselves harder, Kaldur keeping her calm when she wants to give up because no way are they ever going to get it right.)
Artemis never thought she was afraid of dying until suddenly it had a name and a time: Kaldur, 2016.
(Kaldur smiles like he's proud of her. They've done good work today, he says.)
This would be easier if Kaldur were here. Everything's easier with Kaldur there to keep them in line.]
ok[That's it. She doesn't trust herself to say more--she's still too angry, even if Robin is right.]
text
But he can't. Not now. Not yet. ]
If you're angry with me, fine. I'm sure I deserve it. But don't use my friend as a weapon.
I want to hear about Roy later.
Robin out.
[ Is it petty to want the last word when Artemis is still reeling with news of her maybe-death? Probably. Is turning off his comm before he goes out to patrol (read: blow off steam with some light violence) immature? Definitely. Is he upset and fourteen and making stupid, emotional decisions? Yes he is. ]
text
The arrows are fine. The comm's screen is cracked, but it's otherwise unharmed.
After a minute, she gathers up the arrows, shoves them in her quiver, and heads out. Cracking a screen is all very good, but right now she wants to crack skulls. Thinking about why she's so angry is too confusing and painful and ultimately "why" won't matter to whatever low life criminal scum she manages to catch in the act tonight.
It's not like she has anything to lose.]